Feel Me Up...... Please

photo from google

It's travel season and things like family, food, and fun have been overshadowed by the new pat-down procedures used by the Transportation Security Administration (TSA). Now anyone who has ever traveled understands that you must pass through security to board your flight. Now granted since 9/11 security lines have been longer and more complicated than the women's bathroom at a football game. Take off your shoes, get your baggie out, no liquids, don't say the word "bomb" or "terrorist" because it will cause Homeland Security to descend from the roof. Hell, traveling is an eleven on a 1 to 10 stress scale! Anything out of the ordinary makes people nervous, which causes them to panic, and rightfully so.

So lets take a "pretend" journey through security with our fictional traveler "Pat" shall we??

Pat approaches security side-eyeing anyone who looks, smells, or talks different than him (her). Pat hands his (her) ticket to the jolly TSA agent who then stamps a smiley face on their ticket to confirm its been through the security process. Then it begins:

Pat gets in a line that is approximately 1 to 2 miles long. He (She) begins to undress; first the coat, then the belt, then shoes. It's not uncomfortable because everyone is doing it! Then Pat dumps the rest of his (her) possessions into a plastic tub and begins to proceed. What lies ahead is what some may call the "Gates of Hell" but we'll call it the Body Image Scanner. Seeing what is ahead Pat begins to pray (silently of course, remember Homeland is watching) and hopes all of his (her) pockets are empty. He (she) begins to walk through.....

DING-A-DING-DA-DING-DING-UH-OH-DING-A-DING

Aw hell no!! Pat has set off the detector. Pat is now all alone. His (her) traveling party is starring at him (her) like they don't know who the hell Pat is. The people behind Pat are looking at him (her) as if it is Bin Laden in the flesh. Its all over now Pat.

Next a "certified" TSA agent tells Pat to step "over there". Now this is the point of the story where it gets fuzzy. Because I've never been behind the "screen of uncertainty" if I get it wrong correct me in the comments. OK so if Pat is a women here's how the pat-down goes. The female TSA agent begins to feel Pats arms and chest. She feels Pats breasts. She is allowed to do this because its "procedure" after all. She continues down and feels pats ankles, legs, and private area. She runs her hand around the waistband of Pat's underwear. Once again "procedure". Pat, who is now and has every right, feels funny but passes the pat-down and is free to go.

Now this isn't a love story, if you ask the right people some may feel this is a horror story. The new procedure has been considered and invasion of privacy, an infringement on their 4th Amendment Rights (illegal search and seizure) and some say the extreme measures taken are not necessary. By now you're asking, "Denise, what do you think?" As a frequent traveler I believe that security is necessary to insure the safety of passengers. I believe because the proper steps were not taken after 9/11 to guarantee our safety we now have this pat-down procedure. If we would have checked the "Shoe Bomber's" shoes, or check the waist band of the "Condom Bomber" we wouldn't be where we are today. But as an American we must do what is needed to protect ourselves and what is needed to feel protected. So if I need to be patted-down to accomplish these needs then Feel Me Up....Please. -D