Feel Me Up...... Please

photo from google

It's travel season and things like family, food, and fun have been overshadowed by the new pat-down procedures used by the Transportation Security Administration (TSA). Now anyone who has ever traveled understands that you must pass through security to board your flight. Now granted since 9/11 security lines have been longer and more complicated than the women's bathroom at a football game. Take off your shoes, get your baggie out, no liquids, don't say the word "bomb" or "terrorist" because it will cause Homeland Security to descend from the roof. Hell, traveling is an eleven on a 1 to 10 stress scale! Anything out of the ordinary makes people nervous, which causes them to panic, and rightfully so.

So lets take a "pretend" journey through security with our fictional traveler "Pat" shall we??

Pat approaches security side-eyeing anyone who looks, smells, or talks different than him (her). Pat hands his (her) ticket to the jolly TSA agent who then stamps a smiley face on their ticket to confirm its been through the security process. Then it begins:

Pat gets in a line that is approximately 1 to 2 miles long. He (She) begins to undress; first the coat, then the belt, then shoes. It's not uncomfortable because everyone is doing it! Then Pat dumps the rest of his (her) possessions into a plastic tub and begins to proceed. What lies ahead is what some may call the "Gates of Hell" but we'll call it the Body Image Scanner. Seeing what is ahead Pat begins to pray (silently of course, remember Homeland is watching) and hopes all of his (her) pockets are empty. He (she) begins to walk through.....

DING-A-DING-DA-DING-DING-UH-OH-DING-A-DING

Aw hell no!! Pat has set off the detector. Pat is now all alone. His (her) traveling party is starring at him (her) like they don't know who the hell Pat is. The people behind Pat are looking at him (her) as if it is Bin Laden in the flesh. Its all over now Pat.

Next a "certified" TSA agent tells Pat to step "over there". Now this is the point of the story where it gets fuzzy. Because I've never been behind the "screen of uncertainty" if I get it wrong correct me in the comments. OK so if Pat is a women here's how the pat-down goes. The female TSA agent begins to feel Pats arms and chest. She feels Pats breasts. She is allowed to do this because its "procedure" after all. She continues down and feels pats ankles, legs, and private area. She runs her hand around the waistband of Pat's underwear. Once again "procedure". Pat, who is now and has every right, feels funny but passes the pat-down and is free to go.

Now this isn't a love story, if you ask the right people some may feel this is a horror story. The new procedure has been considered and invasion of privacy, an infringement on their 4th Amendment Rights (illegal search and seizure) and some say the extreme measures taken are not necessary. By now you're asking, "Denise, what do you think?" As a frequent traveler I believe that security is necessary to insure the safety of passengers. I believe because the proper steps were not taken after 9/11 to guarantee our safety we now have this pat-down procedure. If we would have checked the "Shoe Bomber's" shoes, or check the waist band of the "Condom Bomber" we wouldn't be where we are today. But as an American we must do what is needed to protect ourselves and what is needed to feel protected. So if I need to be patted-down to accomplish these needs then Feel Me Up....Please. -D



Soo..even celebrities are afraid of the recession?!

Okay. We're all for a side hustle. Really we are. We've got a few ourselves, just because we're that awesome. And yes, it is hard trying to reel in all this talent and phenomenalism. Wait...yeah, we're sure that's a word. But let us get back on track. Take a look at this picture. We'll wait.

No that's not Ming Lee! Guess again! It's SERENA WILLIAMS, tennis maven! Don't know how you feel about it? We don't either. But here's the gotcha....She's a certified nail tech!!!

“No one likes getting their nails done more than I do. As a matter of fact I go every four days to get a manicure and every seven days for a pedicure. So, I had a brilliant idea to get certified to be a nail tech,” she wrote on her Global Grind blog.

Word has it that she carried her supplies in hello kitty containers! That's my favorite part of this story. If you're gonna keep yourself from going broke, you might as well do it in style.

Becoming a nail tech is far better than her selling candles or Avon. Don't be offended if that's your side hustle. Or be offended, we really don't care! (Insert evil smile here)

But on a serious note, is it shocking that celebrities are creating their own safety nets? Is the economy EVER going to get any better? Maybe we should all be finding ways to generate extra income. Maybe we should even stop buying shoes. HA! That was funny!

I am a BLACK REPUBLICAN

Part 1 of a "What If??" Series

I am a Black Republican. I'll wait while you clutch your chest's and scream, "What the hell!?" to the heavens above! Mind you we do exists. I am as real as the nose on your faces. I sit next to you in school, I am behind you at the checkout line in the grocery store, and I might even praise with you on Sundays.

I am a Black Republican. I am a card carrying member of the NRA. After all it is my right as an American to bear arms. I am a Black Republican. I believe in pro-life and feel a baby is a life at the beginning of conception. I am a Black Republican. I am college educated, I pay my bills on time, and pay my taxes yearly. I am a Black Republican and because I work I am able to obtain health insurance if I deem it necessary. I rarely get sick so I believe it is an invasion of privacy for you to force me to have medical coverage in this country. I am a Black Republican and how hard you work is a direct staple of what you earn. You don't work, you don't eat (unless medically unable). I am a Black Republican. I believe and as it is stated in the Bible, marriage is between one Man and one Woman. I am a Black Republican and because I work and make large amounts of money I am offered few tax breaks and the "stimulus" doesn't apply to me (wth?!).

I am a Black Republican. I believe the border fence is the next best thing next to sliced bread. If you want to live in my country have enough respect to come in through the front door and not the back. I am a Black Republican and I support our Armed Services. Whether in a time of war or peace I fully stand by the men and women who protect our freedoms. I am a Black Republican and in the morning I do enjoy the banter and honesty of FOX News and I could care less about the "puppy saving" stories from the other guys. I am a Black Republican. I believe Palin isn't a complete idiot. Matter of fact her and I may just have......a Tea Party.

I am a Black Republican. I support the party of Abraham Lincoln. I am a Black Republican, just like Fredrick Douglas, Sammy Davis Jr., Don King, Denzel Washington, Sojourner Truth, and Martin Luther King Jr.. -D

The "What If??" blogs are a series of  hypothetical writings that are meant to encourage dialogue, make you laugh, piss you off, and get your mind going. These blogs will explore sensitive issues regarding politics, race, religion, money, and love. Your comments are STRONGLY recommended.

Curently Coveting: FUR VESTS

I hate winter! Say what you want, but I can't stand it. The only thing that keeps me from hibernating, is my love for the fashion and boots. *dreamy sigh* I would crawl across broken glass for fashion! So, no matter where you are, no matter what you're doing. Stop what you're doing and go get a fur vest. We'll wait right here while you do that. Take a look at the soft, furry, goodness below, so you know what to look for in stores!

Photo courtesy of myfashionjuice.com

Personally, I love ANYTHING furry! And don't even dream of throwing paint or blood on me when you see me! I love PETA, and I'm an advocate for fake fur. But I still like the look! Sue me! *shrug* Anyway, Fur is UBER IN! It's everywhere. It can really glam up a look without overpowering the room, the way a chinchilla would. Let's face it, if you aren't Rachel Zoe or Kimora Lee Honsou, then you really don't need a big fur coat anyway.

You can do no wrong when it comes to this look. Go asymmetrical, cropped, straight at the bottom, anything goes! Put just about anything underneath. Pair it with a skirt, skinny jeans, tights...Go crazy! My favorite look of the moment, is animal print fur. Anyone will tell you that I LOOOOVE animal prints. Leopard is also back with a vengeance, so why not combine the two!

Can't justify spending $50, for a vest? Want the look for less? Hmm..how do we remedy that? Let's see..let's see..Oh I know! I can show you how to make your own! Yes, you can all bow and adore me now! Don't worry I won't make you drink the koolaid, or become a sister wife! Sorry..I couldn't help myself!

Tune in next week, as I show you my DIY version of a fur vest. Get your scissors ready dolls!

~NiRosha~

WANTED: Married Men

Back in the day it was light skinned men. Everybody wanted a yellow bone brotha. Then once those were taken the emergence of dark skinned men came onto the scene. Once women got sick of men they went to women (remember, "my girl has a girlfriend"??). Today, it seems that married men are on the top of a single woman's "must have" list and for the love of life I can't understand why? What is it about married men that intrigues women to go after them? Why cant they stay away from someone who vowed to be with their significant other for life?

As a wife, this new "fad" touches me to the core. What's the need to attract someones husband? NOT boyfriend, not baby daddy, but HUSBAND? How inconsiderate, lowdown, and dirty. Is it the thrill of the chase? Is it because senseless broads want a hubby? Drop comments when I'm done and let me know the reasoning.... if any.

Let's explore some married man lovers, shall we? Up first, Leann Rimes. Leann is a cute country girl with a hell of a voice. BUT Leann left her husband for another woman's husband after they fell in love on a made for TV movie set. Now this movie they made took 4 months to shoot (I googled it) so you mean to tell me she fell in love in 4 months and was in enough love that the two of them ended their marriages?! Leann is quoted as saying she has "no regrets" for how her relationship has played out. Wow.

Now, of all the people to take someones husband you never ever ever thought it would be Alicia Keys huh? Well color us crazy but Keys hooked up with Swizz Beatz while the man was still legally married. Then once Beatz handled his business and divorced his ex-wife he quickly and suddenly wifed up A. Keys and they had a baby (damn a healing period). I wonder if Alicia feels a little guilty for having a hand in ending a marriage?



Fantasia, Leann Rimes, Leah, and Alicia Keys
Pics from Google

 Rolling my eyes and moving on to the next one (ha! No Swizz Beatz pun intended) how about Leah from Bad Girl's Club Miami. If you aren't familiar with BGC its like the Real World meets Mean Girls meets Player's Club (times 10). Leah is in a relationship with a married man. This man was even seen on the show (bold ass dude). But riddle me this, how come Leah got enraged when Brandi called her out for messing with married men? She packed her stuff and moved out of the room and acted like the girl was lying and lets face it, she got called out! My first High-five award goes to Brandi!!

Finally, my last and most notable married man lover is....... Fantasia Barrino. Oh Tasia c'mon girl! Homeboy worked at the local T-mobile for Pete's sake. I'm not going to go in on Tasia because she has suffered enough. I can honestly say I have little remorse for Tasia because I don't think she was in her right mind when she attempted to take her life. She has a young daughter who should have been her main priority not the married man or the media circus that haunted her. HOWEVER, I am giving my second "high-five" award to the man's wife! This women took it upon herself to sue Tasia for breaking up her marriage. Now while there is co-blame here at least she took a stand on something that was wrong. (Only 7 states have this law North Carolina, Illinois, New Mexico, South Carolina, Utah, South Dakota, and Hawaii).

So folks to wrap this up and before I get a ton of messages (I would like a ton of messages on this to be honest) the men were wrong as well. BUT men with wives are off limits. Sometimes going down this route can lead to nothing but trouble. -D

You recalled teething tablets? Rat bastards!

A few months ago, my fave pediatrician said two words. Wait, let's back up a bit. He was my pediatrician. He was my family's pediatrician. I went to this man until I had to go to the gyno. So I trust anything he says. He said, "She's teething!" Long story short, she was slightly, not really, only kinda teething. And the teething tablets helped a bit. They were tiny meltable miracles! Fast forward a few months and we're in the War against Teething!!!! (Yes, very similar to the war against terrorism) And the FRIGGIN TEETHING TABLETS HAVE BEEN RECALLED! I'm exhausted and stressed. My child is miserable! I NEED THOSE TABLETS FROM THE KIDDIE DRUG PEOPLE!!! I've gotta go..If they recall Moscato, I'm gonna be on the news!

Hide Ya Kids, Hide Ya Wife..... Hide the IGNORANCE

On a crisp autumn evening a few weeks ago I was at home watching the BET Hip Hop Awards when all of a sudden and to my surprise a 20-something male with a red bandanna began singing (in auto-tune the sound track of ignorance mind you),"Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, hide ya husband toooo."
 "What the Hell!" I said to myself under my breath as I looked to me left and my hubby was giggling with amusement. As the madness continued I just shook my head as the "Poindexter" white boy at the keyboard ended this dreadful prelude with a solo. I had to crack open my laptop to find out who and what the heck I just watched.



Pic from Google



For those of you who were under the rock with me his name is Antoine Dodson. The background behind this display is that his sister was attacked by a would be rapist in their apartment. To make a short story even shorter, the local media came out and interviewed Dodson and his sister and what I had just witnessed was a mockery of that interview. As funny as it may be, what would normally be taken as a serious situation just turned into an ignorant display of jackassism (yea I made that word up).



In all fairness Antoine was serious during the interview but, once folks began to chuckle Antoine said "screw this" and began singing and dancing around on TV like a modern day "Bojangles". Therefore the seriousness of the interview got shot to shit  and now he's a You-Tube sensation (wth?!) If Antoine would have done his song and dance and afterward immediately addressed the seriousness of rape and home invasions, it probably would of made his 5 mins more meaningful. So in the long run ignorance is bliss homey thanks for the laughs!

Run and tell that, run and tell that!   -D 

Handmade Halloween

So at the last minute it was decided that my daughter, Muffin, would be a Disney princess. *rolling my eyes slightly* I’m the DIY queen, but I decided to save my brain cells for later on in life. Ya know, for the years that she can actually eat the candy. So her dad decided he wanted her to be said princess. Ahh the joys of co-parenting. *rolling my eyes slightly again*

Did I know that she would need a Halloween bucket? Of course. Did I pay attention to the fully stocked shelves in Wal-Mart and grab one weeks ago? No. Did I wake up Sunday morning and do a mad dash to the Dollar Tree, Target, and Wal-Mart? Yes. Let me tell ya..it wasn’t pretty. Learn from my mistakes! I drove ALL the way across to Make Me Curse Every Two Feet Because of The Stupid Construction RD. (You don’t know where that is, but that’s what I’ve named the road) Only to discover that THERE WERE NO BUCKETS! Anywhere! Okay, so I saw 4 navy *shiver* dented buckets at Wal-Mart. Who wants a navy bucket for Halloween?! Surely not me, I mean, Muffin. There were a couple of overly common orange ones in Target, but that’s not the point. I wanted, and would have a pink one. Am I slightly obsessed with this..ehh..just mind your business!

Ok, so it’s crunch time! What can I do!? Now I’d like to take a moment to thank my mom, for everything she ever did for me! This must be payback for telling her about things the night before. *insert aggravated sigh* We had an event to go to at 5:00, so I began to channel my inner Martha Stewart and decided to make her one. I remembered that I had some pink petals at home. Where? Had no idea. Just prayed that I would find them. I also vaguely remember a $1 Hello Kitty shopping bag somewhere as well. No.. I umm, didn’t know where that was either. But anyway…a couple of petals, and a few glue experiments later..we have a trick or treat bag fit for a queen, I mean.. Muffin Disney princess!

There is a picture of said purse, but right now I have a teething issue to deal with. Fun times. I'll post it one day when I find some extra free time lying around somewhere!

And don’t judge me..you wait until the last minute to do stuff for your kid too! Don’t lie! You KNOW you do!

Get to know us..if you aren't afraid!

ABOUT DENISE

What are you most proud of? My two children
What's your favorite food? Any and all pasta
What’s in your purse? my cherry chap stick, a pacifier, hubby's brush, and a Mc Donald's toy (something for everyone)
What annoys you about people? mumbling and slick shit (say what you mean)
Nicknames for your kids? My daughter is Bean, and my son is Mooey (he drinks lots of milk like a cow)
What would your neighbors say about you? "That's a loud family all the way down to the baby."
3 weird facts about you? I love cream of spinach, Ive never worn make-up, and I'm addicted to washing clothes (the whole fam) everyday!

 

 

ABOUT NIROSHA

What are you most proud of? My daughter and my shoe collection. Don't judge me!
What's your favorite food? Anything Mexican or Italian

What’s in your purse? cocoa butter lip balm, MAC lipglass, tigger teething toy, coupon organizer, and curl refresher....it's a big purse, we could be all day

What annoys you about people? Being passive aggressive, Beings sneaky. I'm Nancy Drew! Don't play me!

Nicknames for your kids? My daughter is Muffin. She's chubby with HUGE cheeks..she looks like a muffin!

What would your neighbors say about you? "Is that another bag of shoes? Why does she always load up so much stuff for that kid?!"

3 weird facts about you? I adore hello kitty! I can sound like a chipmunk! I don't have any bottom eyelashes! I know..that's weird huh?

 

 

Sidenote: Did Denise mean that she washes clothes EVERY SINGLE DAY?! WTH?!

Once Upon a Time...

In a land far, far away, there lived two college students. We met, and it was as if we had one mind and two bodies! We were both editors of a little college newspaper at Prairie View A&M University, called The Panther. Believe us, it was fun times! So 3 kids, a marriage, a divorce and many moves later, we decided that we didn't want all this talent to go to waste. We decided that we needed an outlet to say whatever we'd like, whenever we wanted. Which brings us to this blog that you're reading now, which you'll share with all your friends! (Pretty please?!)  Here we'll discuss any and everything. Politics, entertainment, parenting, relationships...you'll find just about anything. Most of us women grew up thinking we'd live a fairy tale life, and life happily ever after. Yeah...that just doesn't happen. Like many of you, we're finding our own way through the enchanted forest. So we'll share our stories about the wicked witch at Wal mart, and other failed fairy tale moments. Enjoy and Follow!